real talk: "my all...my everything..."

I don’t really know where to look
anymore;
I’ve run out of time and it seems
this is the last door.
It’s the only thing I haven’t stuck
with or committed to;
It’s the only thing that faith and
believing has taught me to do.

So…

I trust God.

With my finances. With my schooling. With my heart…

I trust God.

With my life. With my decisions… I’ve finished. Together, WE start.

I’m trusting God.

My co-pilot, my friend, my provider….

JESUS!

The path, the direction…ELEVATE ME, FATHER! Take me higher!

Savior,

My friend, my assurance, my help, my all…my everything.

Salaries don’t save souls, friends don’t make whole, father…

I NEED YOU

MORE…

…than anything…NOW, than ever.

thankful

i can't help but think about my earlier entry. i can't help but question whether or not i've already found the one and i've already run him off. lol i'm sure i'll get over it.

anyways...i had a pretty good day at work. saved about 12 customers and made about 20 more the happiest they've never been. sometimes i don't like my job...other times i can't imagine being anywhere else. i was looking thru my old blog 'acmeinvisibleink.blogspot.com' and remembered exactly when i got this job. a guest speaker had talked about the 'god of the breakthru' and i tithed that day with my lil unemployment check. i got a call that next day after church. i know that god works in mysterious ways and sometimes we don't always know or understand the who's the why's and the when's but faith teaches patience and patience teaches u to be humble and being humble allows u to hear...when u need to hear.

so...i believe that god gave me my job and its not meant for me to lose it by any other means than god taking it himself...but should i find myself in the unemployment line again i believe that it will only be because the lord saw it fit that i be elsewhere.

why i'm single

it took reading a very good friend of mine's blog for me to really be able to answer the question "why are u single?" i mean, i had this pretty, dressed up, preformatted response for the question, but i hadn't really thought about why i was single until last night. u have to read his blog titled "love has fallen down on me", dated january 20th.

so i'm single because i fear being hurt because of those who have hurt me in my past. no matter how many times i say i don't let the next man pay for what any other one has done to me in my past, it's simply not true. subconsciously, i do. i look for signs and clues in everyone. i observe, i listen, i wait....i wait for him to show me a sign that he can and/or will hurt me. i hope to catch him in a lie so that i won't waste my time.

i silently push him away with my questions, with my false sense of insecurity, with my doubt. but secretly, i lend him a benefit of doubt...deep down inside, i hope that we make it...somewhere...anywhere but where i've been. what better time than the present?

i want to love and be loved. i want to plan a trip to florida and travel where ever my vacation time and jet fuel will take us. i want to be someone's perfect woman. where my man will hold me up to God and ask Him "can i keep her?" i want a family one day. i want...i want...i want....
i want...
i want....
I NEED...
to get myself together first. i need to be sure that when God shows me to the man who'll have me, that i'm ready. ready for his unconditional love. ready for him to accept me for me. ready to embrace him and everything he is to me, trusting GOD all the way and not doubting him.

my king, wherever u are...i love u. i can't wait to meet u. i'm almost there....but i'm not ready yet. so sorry to keep u waiting...but best i learn this lesson now than to put our love in jeopardy later.

keep praying for me.

back in the grooooove...

...man, its been like...HOW long since the last time i really, really blogged? i was just shocked to see how easily some information could be found on the internet, so i really cut back on how much i disclosed to the general public.

so, i'm officially coming out of my shell. here it is...like it or not!

oh, its 2008 now, beybee....

ITS ON!!